Merry Christmas from Tracy Phare, past participant of the Thresholds Program.

Memories of Her First Christmas in Thresholds

Tracy Phare lived at Aunt Leah’s house and was a new mom in our Thresholds Program in 20042005. Tracy has been doing some work experience at Aunt Leah’s office in New Westminster. Tracy shared some of her story with me and we talked about her plans this Christmas with her son Trevor.

Tracy openly shared with me that before she was in the Thresholds Program, her life was on the streets. “I didn’t grow up in the streets. I came from a good family and didn’t get into drugs until I was in my 20’s and I got addicted and I let it take me to the streets but that wasn’t what I grew up with.”

Tracy was 35 when she became pregnant with Trevor. She was terrified about being a mom but excited at the same time. She always wanted to have kids. “I didn’t think I could have babies. I thought I was being punished.” Tracy wanted to keep Trevor but had no idea how to be a mom.

“In the beginning I was really, really messed up, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. But my doctors, Dr. Hunt, Dr. Wilson and Dr. Ron Abrahams were excellent, excellent doctors and Dr. Abrahams suggested that for me, being a first time parent, that I should try Aunt Leah’s Thresholds Program. So I called right away, and had an interview.”

“I didn’t really have a home before Aunt Leah’s. I was just kind of staying here and there. I knew that if I didn’t try the program, they wouldn’t have let me take my son with me out of the hospital because I didn’t have a home to go to.”

Tracy remembers moving into the house. “I got to pick my own room and I really loved having my own room. I had the little window seat. I loved the curtains and my pillows that had this frilly trim and my pictures on the walls, and I just loved everything about it. And I had never had my own bed before. I always shared a bed with my sister. This was the first time I had my own bed and Trevor had his own little bed too.”

There were two other moms in the program at the same time and they all lived in the house together. “It was hard sharing the house with two other moms and their babies but in some ways it was good too because we had each other for support. One of the moms, I won’t mention her name, but she was a neat freak and always had to have everything a certain way you know? But we became friends too and the other mom was very committed to her sobriety and to always going to meetings and that so it was great to go through that with her.”

Tracy talked about how the structure of the program helped her to manage the challenges she faced. “It was a lot to take on all at once and there were a lot of rules in the house. It was hard to get used to at first, all these rules, but they taught us routines and that really helped.”

“The staff weren’t judgmental. I was going through a lot of shame and judgment from coming from the streets but the staff were so supportive. They just helped us through it. With three moms in the house all coming from the street, there was a lot of, you know, it was hard, it was really hard, with all the shame and everything that we had from that. The staff always made sure we were doing something positive for ourselves too, teaching us self care. They would check in on us on the weekends and ask us what plans we had to do something nice for ourselves.”

Tracy remembers her first Christmas at the house. “We got hampers from Aunt Leah’s, we decorated the house and put up a tree, and we made Christmas dinner. All three of us moms helped to cook the dinner and it was our first every turkey dinner and it turned out great! We all had a guest over for dinner and it was such a success! And I remember Trevor – it was his first Christmas. I dressed him up in a little green velvet suit and it had a little tie.”

I asked Tracy what her plans are for this Christmas. “Well, we just moved into a new home so we’re going to decorate and get a tree. Last year we didn’t decorate much because we were in an apartment and it was too small but this year we’re going to decorate and we’ll spend time with family too. Having Trevor really united me with my family because for several years I didn’t see anyone but having my son reconnected me with everyone and ever since then, we see the family regularly. They just love Trevor so much. ”

At Aunt Leah’s, we’re proud to be a part of Tracy and Trevor’s Christmas tradition. “Every year I go to Aunt Leah’s Christmas Dinner and see the staff and the other moms and their kids and Trevor loves it. He loves to see the other boys again. I tell him stories see. I tell him how when he was born he lived at Aunt Leah’s House, and he knows that the other moms and boys were there too, and he asks me, ‘Who was Aunt Leah? What did she look like?’, but I tell him he was too young to remember.”

Tracy has been such a pleasure to work with. She has an infectious positive energy and always has a smile. Tracy and Trevor will be receiving a Christmas Hamper again this year, and with Tracy helping out around the office, she’ll get to take part in helping to prepare the Hampers for other moms and families too. If her Christmas cheer is anything like her everyday cheer, she’s going to help make the season brighter for all of us!

Written by Theresa Olson

Representative Awards Honour Those Making a Difference for Children and Youth

On November 4, 2009, Aunt Leah’s Independent Lifeskills Society was among four organizations recognized for their dedication to making a difference in the lives of B.C.’s vulnerable children and youth. Aunt Leah’s won the Service Provider Award of Excellence.

In announcing the 2009 Representative for Children and Youth Awards of Excellence, Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond said the awards highlight the diversity of programs and individuals in B.C. committed to improving outcomes for young people. “The work and initiatives of the people we recognize with these awards is truly inspiring,” said Turpel-Lafond. “These are outstanding individuals and organizations who believe in possibility. They develop programs and pull together resources to help shape better futures and better lives for young people. They are innovative, they are spirited and it is a great honour to recognize and celebrate their achievements. The dedication exhibited by these award winners is highly valued and extremely important, particularly in tough economic times when stress increases and many families experience additional hardships,” said Turpel-Lafond.

The awards are sponsored by the Justice Institute of British Columbia, the Law Society of British Columbia, the Vancouver Foundation and the Queen Alexandra Foundation for Children. This is the second year of the Representative’s Awards of Excellence to recognize and encourage excellence in B.C.’s child and youth service system.

Karin King gives support any way she can.

Taking Pleasure in Giving

If you have been involved with Aunt Leah’s over the last 12 years, then there is a good chance you have met Karin King. Karin was a board member for two years, our Human Resources Manager for about 8 years, and is currently our Fundraising Assistant and she helps us in a myriad of ways with events and donor relations. Karin supports Aunt Leah’s as a donor, a volunteer and is a champion for the organization, helping to spread awareness and bring new people into our community.

Karin recalls how she first came to know about Aunt Leah’s. Karin and her family regularly attended one of the Community Meals where Aunt Leah’s offered pre-employment training in restaurant service skills to youth at risk. As a board member, Karin found herself caught up in the passion of the other board members as they worked together on vital issues within the organization. “What drew me to Aunt Leah’s was the work they were doing with the youth. I just couldn’t imagine what it must be like for these foster youth who’ve had to move from home to home, being uprooted, and the teen moms. I also admired that everyone was really focused on the mandate.”

Karin is also a mother and her son Joel is now 26. “Most of my friends are parents and our children have benefited from growing up with a certain level of affluence, and I just feel that when we know there are poor people and kids on the street, how can you not want to help?”

Karin’s friends ask her why she hasn’t yet retired. “You know, I so believe in what Aunt Leah’s is doing and the people they are helping and it’s nice to be around that. Aunt Leah’s really does very unique work. I have a lot of admiration and respect for the work the Support Workers do. And everyone, really. I feel like I’m surrounded by very caring, professional people who all have different things to bring to the organization.”

Karin has been an amazing ambassador for Aunt Leah’s. She is such a delightful person who genuinely cares about people and enjoys socializing and meeting new people. And she loves fundraisers! “My biggest delight is going to one fundraiser and buying something at their event and then giving it to Aunt Leah’s. That way, I can support two organizations! I get a big charge out of that.” Karin giggles and admits it’s not just out of generosity that she goes to these events but also because she likes to promote Aunt Leah’s. “Everybody knows where I work. I take any chance I get to spread the word about Aunt Leah’s.”

Karin’s favorite event is the Lonely Hearts Club Band which is an annual benefit concert with local talent performing Beatles songs. “Who doesn’t like music?” she asks with a laugh. Karin invites her friends to take part in all kinds of fundraisers and campaigns at Aunt Leah’s but she especially enjoys bringing friends to this event. “I love to see my friends having fun and enjoying the music, but of course I want them to know the purpose behind it as well.”

About her own choice to support Aunt Leah’s financially, Karin says, “I get a lot of happiness from that. One of my greatest pleasures would be to be able to start my own foundation. How wonderful would that be?”

Karin has been such a great help to us in fundraising and her love of people and passion for helping youth and teen moms in need contribute to her ability to reach out to our supporters. “I think most people are giving. When I’m talking to people about an event, it sparks their creativity to think of the different ways they can help, whether it’s with donations or their time or expertise.”

One of Karin’s new projects is helping to promote the concept of “Third Party” Fundraisers – where individuals or groups host their own events and donate the proceeds to Aunt Leah’s. Karin has come up with a lot of creative ideas for different kinds of fundraisers people can do with their friends and family or co-workers. If you are interested in hosting an event, or supporting one of Aunt Leah’s events, give Karin a call at 604-525-1204 extension 228. You’ll be glad you did!

Written by Theresa Olson, Director of Communications and Donor Relations

Gale Stewart, Executive Director

The Privilege of Giving

Christmas Message from Gale Stewart, Executive Director

As I begin to write this annual Christmas letter I am again reminded of the privilege I experience. Last year my husband Paul and I became grandparents to two beautiful granddaughters named Ella & Lucy. This coming year we will be introduced to two additional grandchildren. Life is good.

Watching the unfolding of another generation and the attention and care that these little ones have access to is not only amazing but humbling…. such a startling contrast to many of the children at Aunt Leah’s.

So this year I begin with a story…………………

The young mom was now an adult. Her name was Julie and she had lived at Aunt Leah’s House for over a year. During that time she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy whom she named Jackson. She turned 19 during the summer months and by fall found a place to live for herself and Jackson.

As Christmas approached, we heard that Julie lost her accommodation but quickly found a new place to live. She called to give us her address and phone number. In the week prior to Christmas an Aunt Leah’s staff contacted Julie to ask if she would like a Christmas Hamper and a small tree from the Aunt Leah’s Christmas Tree Lot. She eagerly accepted our offer. A few days later two support workers went together to deliver the tree and hamper. When they arrived they found Julie holding Jackson on a straight-backed wooden chair in the living room area. The small apartment was clean but absent of normal furnishings. No couch. No living room chairs. No kitchen table. No pictures on the walls. No small appliances. Only a bed and minimal dishes and linens. It was painfully clear that this mom, who welcomed the Christmas tree, had no resources to decorate it, provide a gift for her son or food for the holidays.

Julie talked about her struggle to become a tenant, handle her budget and provide care for Jackson. She spoke of feeling weak and alone. She felt she was just not ready to live on her own. The Support Worker asked if it would be okay to give her some decorations for the tree, a grocery voucher and some furnishings from the Aunt Leah’s Thrift Store. Thoughtfully Julie nodded in agreement and soon the Support Workers had secured enough funds to ensure that the little barren apartment looked like home, Christmas preparations could begin and Julie knew she could call for help whenever she needed it.

A gift to Aunt Leah’s Society will provide a Christmas stocking, an outing, a Christmas Dinner or a gift on Christmas morning. All of this is true but Julie and Jackson’s story illustrates how much more your gift can accomplish. The story broadens what I wish to express. When financial support is provided to an organization like Aunt Leah’s we can creatively use it in ways that not only provide a special holiday celebration but also assist into the many months and years ahead for a vulnerable teen.

Our Christmas Gift becomes a sacred act a privilege that each of us has to offer, an opportunity to satisfy a human longing.

As I mentioned at the beginning of my letter, Paul and I are delighted grandparents. Often I constrain my conversation with friends. I try not to be the overly repetitive grandparent boasting of the amazing attributes and talents of Ella and Lucy. But I am quite unrestrained in telling anyone about the struggles of the young people who I see each day at Aunt Leah’s. Young people who have braved some of the worst imaginable home life situations. Teenage girls who have become good parents but continue to struggle to find housing and support for their fragile family unit.

Gale's granddaughters, Ella and Lucy.

“To Love and Be Loved in Return”

There is a basic human longing – the need “to love and be loved in return”. I like to think of it as a tiny seed of energy implanted in each of us at birth. How we are treated, the “significant others” who enter our lives, the love we experience, the creative acts that are done on our behalf – all of these contribute to whether the seed flourishes, whether we become people who have the ability to love and receive love. When this need is met, when this skill is taught, we become self-assured, kind, creative and generous people. Many, like Julie, will move out on their own this Christmas. The furniture, the tree, the decorations and the food are all expressions of love. Together they complimented Julie’s expression of love to her son at Christmas. And with continued care and support Jackson will learn this amazing skill and return that love to his mom.

Please join me in making this Christmas a memorable one for the young people at Aunt Leah’s. I extend my best wishes to you and those you love this Holiday Season. In the spirit of Leah,

Gale Stewart Executive Director

P.S. Your donation will help another young mom and baby like Julie and Jackson have a special Holiday Celebration this year.

To view this newsletter as a PDF, click here: Aunt Leah’s Newsletter December 2009